We Are Cursing Our Children If....

Even though we vary in parenting styles, even if we are no longer together, and even though we have a child or children together, can we agree on one thing? Can we all just get along as parents? I can’t say it enough, when we are no longer with the other parent of our children, we must get past the anger, hurt, devastation, and upsets that we experienced with the other parent. Why is this important? It’s important because our actions toward the other parent can be detrimental or even fatal to our children. We are affecting our children emotionally and putting them in matters that they have no business in. When we talk bad about the other parent in the presence of our children and teach our children to disrespect the other parent, we are cursing our children.

Let me re-introduce a law that you may have heard of before. This law stands the test of time. It’s one that is taught in Sunday schools and one that your parents may have taught you. This law states, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.” Parents, when we teach, instruct and cause our children to disrespect, dishonor the other parent, we are inherently cursing our children. It doesn’t matter what religion, nationality, age, race, or creed, this law is universal and affects everyone.

The commandment did not say honor one parent, a mother or a father, it was specific, it said honor both parents. I love my two sons, and there is nothing I want more is for them to live a long, spiritual, happy, successful and prosperous life. I caution what I say to them and teach them to not only love their fathers, but also to respect and honor their fathers.

Just recently my oldest my son called me about something his father did. He said “mommy, I had to keep my mouth shut before I said something I would regret to him.” I was so proud of him. I asked and he explained to me what happened and then said to him, “I can’t go against your father, however, I’m here to listen to you and offer my advice on how you can cope with what you are feeling.”
One of the growing problems that children are facing is parental alienation clinically known as Parental Alienation Syndrome.

What is Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)?
This is the definition of PAS as described by R.A. Gardner who discovered the syndrome and has become an expert in dealing with the issue.
Gardner's definition of PAS is:

"The parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child-custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child's campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent's indoctrinations and the child's own contributions to the vilification of the target parent."

“Basically, this means that through verbal and nonverbal thoughts, actions and mannerisms, a child is emotionally abused (brainwashed) into thinking the other parent is the enemy. This ranges from bad mouthing the other parent in front of the children, to withholding visits, to pre-arranging the activities for the children while visiting with the other parent.”

Parents who knowing or unknowing do this, there is a clinical name for what you are doing. So, let’s start a new campaign. I’m calling it STOP and START. Let’s STOP cursing our children and teach them to love the other parent unconditionally. For parents to accomplish this, we must START to get past the hurt, anger and animosity that exists between us and the other parent and START to appreciate the gift that the other parent is in our children lives.

Can we agree on one thing, our children deserve to live a prolonged life.